‘The Expen4bles’: No Surprise. It’s Unwatchable Trash.

Sometimes I take one for the team. I was skipping press screenings in late August, but have decided to catch up with whatever September has to offer. Bad idea.

Did anyone actually think “The Expand4bles” would be good or even decent? In case you missed it in the title, this is the fourth instalment of the Sly Stallone franchise and it barely registers, again.

The reviews have not been good for “The Expand4bles,” and I’m being polite in my assessment. It has a 31 Metascore and sits at a 17% on Rotten Tomatoes. Razzies await this movie.

I nearly walked out after an hour. I couldn’t take the relentless, and assaultive, action, which is choppily directed and edited — non-stop cuts and jarring transitions. It’s a pathetic imitation of the other three movies, which were already pathetic to begin with. That’s how bad “The Expend4ables” is.

I can’t think of a single scene in this movie that actually felt involving. The plot, if you want to call it that, has something to do with Russia, America, nuclear warheads and a mole. The cast is filled with actors who ooze kitsch: Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Sylvester Stallone, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Megan Fox …

Fox is AWFUL. She’s either miscast, can’t act or both. The VFX is embarrassing. Actually, there are a few laughs to be had, albeit unintentional ones, with the worst use of green screen explosions I’ve ever seen on celluloid. For some insane reason, the movie cost $100 million to make.

So, who is to blame for this wretched cinematic abomination? I guess you can point your finger at director Scott Waugh, a talentless hack who is in over his head here. But the screenplay is also laughably bad —written by Kurt Wimmer, Tad Daggerhart and Max Adams.

The good news for Stallone and company is that some moviegoers have taken the bait, and “The Expend4bles” will top the box-office this weekend with an opening of $10 million, but who seriously gives a sh*t about these movies? I’ve seen all four and none of them registered. For some reason, there are still fans out there of this highly muscular franchise.