The review embargo has lifted on Maggie Gyllenhaal’s “The Bride,” and it’s not looking good for Warner Bros’ $100M-costing movie. The aggregates have it at 58% on Rotten Tomatoes and 56 on Metacritic.
I’m particularly amused by IndieWire’s review, which actually describes the film as “woke”; has hell frozen over? Here’s an excerpt from Lattanzio’s writeup:
A wokified, “Joker”-fied feminist opera — and with punk-rock patches on its sleeves — that feels caught in the drain somewhere between 2017 and 2020, a tale of female oppression curiously behind the times despite purporting to be a movie for right this minute.
Furthermore, The Telegraph says, “You can’t simply hide bad art underneath political messaging.” The New York Post’s Johnny Oleksinski calls it “one of the absolute worst movies I have had the displeasure of watching in this job.”
Now, to be fair, there are some critics who did like it, including those writing for outlets such as The Guardian, The Wrap, and Screen.
However, I just can’t agree with these takes. I can’t believe they saw the same film I did — The Bride is BAD. It’s incoherent, and tonally, it’s all over the place. Jessie Buckley’s performance is Razzie-worthy; she seems completely unsure of what kind of movie she’s in. Gyllenhaal’s direction is so disjointed and difficult to follow, making me wonder if she gave up on seriously directing the film halfway through production.
What’s the point of this movie? What is Gyllenhaal trying to tell us? I suspect it has something to do with modern feminism, but it’s not entirely clear. Scenes meant to depict the Bride inspiring a broader uprising or holding a mirror up to misogyny are fairly abstract, didactic, because they’re not fleshed out clearly enough — the intent is strong, but the execution feels thin.
This is a very strange movie, with a plot so scattered I can’t fully explain it — and let’s not forget a subplot about two Chicago detectives (Peter Sarsgaard and Penélope Cruz) that borders on parody. Who thought it was a good idea to cast Cruz as a ‘30s Chicago detective?
We’ll see how bad audience scores are for this one, but I suspect they will be worse than these critics scores. There’s just no way for Warner Bros to spin this one, it’s DOA.
