Live-Action ‘Moana’ Teaser Arrives, and Somehow, the Animated Version Still Wins at Realism

Oh boy — to the shock of absolutely nobody, here comes another Disney live-action remake. The Mouse House has released the first teaser for “Moana,” starring Catherine Laga‘aia and Dwayne Johnson.

It’s even more disappointing than I expected. Everything feels artificial, from the exaggerated CGI to the flat, lifeless backgrounds — how does the animated film look more real than the live-action remake?

Before you ask yourself “why,” you should probably know better than to question this latest IP cash grab from Disney. Quite frankly, it’s exactly that: a cash grab that, no matter its quality, will probably make $1 billion worldwide next summer. Just look at the success of this past July’s “Lilo and Stitch” live-action remake.

I should note: if you thought that after “The Smashing Machine” Dwayne Johnson was going to devote his time to arthouse fare exclusively, think again. Sure, he has a few collaborations with Darren Aronofsky and Martin Scorsese currently in development, but he’s very much a key part of this upcoming “Moana” and is currently shooting “Jumanji 3.”

The reality has been harder to ignore for some. Before “Smashing,” Johnson carefully built a career around maximum paydays. The standing ovation he received at Venice doesn’t erase the track record. For the better part of three decades, Johnson bulldozed into every blockbuster lane he could find: “Jungle Cruise,” “G.I. Joe: Retaliation,” “Rampage,” “Red Notice,” “San Andreas,” “Tooth Fairy,” “Central Intelligence,” two “Jumanjis,” multiple “Fast & Furious” films, and most recently “Red One.” And of course, the “Black Adam” gamble, where he tried to position himself as the center of DC.

While he campaigns for that coveted Oscar nomination, the timing of this “Moana” teaser risks undoing Johnson’s carefully constructed image shift of late. Voters will be reminded not of an underdog fighting typecasting, but of the reliable star of “paycheck cinema.”

Unveiled in April 2023, the live-action “Moana” is arriving unusually quickly after its animated predecessor. By the time the remake hits theaters on July 10, 2026, the original film will be just shy of its 10th anniversary — a remarkably short gap for a Disney live-action adaptation.