Oscars: What The Hell Happened?

It was a weak year for Oscar movies, so “Everything Everywhere All At Once” winning Best Picture might not be such a surprise. It was inevitable after its PGA, DGA and SAG triumphs that it would be showered with Oscar gold.

A24 had one hell of a campaign going for its contenders. That’s also maybe the reason why Brendan Fraser (“The Whale”) won Best Actor. The indie boutique studio is right now on the pulse of the movie conversation.

However, don’t kid yourselves, despite A24’s brilliant artifice of marketing, its films shouldn’t have won any awards last night, especially with “TÁR,” “The Banshees of Inisherin” and “Triangle of Sadness” part of the nominees.

What A24 has basically been able to do is make the post-screening experience just as interesting as the film itself. People will watch something like “Everything Everywhere All At Once” and then go straight to social media, sharing memes, gifs, tweets of the film. The actual screening experience gets lost for branding. Oh, and look, you can also buy those damn hot dog fingers on A24’s online store! Cinema!

The idea of turning a cinematic experience into something you can meme is concerning and not far-off from the marketing ideas behind Marvel or Star Wars. Being an A24 fan now is a “status,” a kind of cult that, to the total obliviousness of the fan, removes them from the cinema.

They are experts at concocting narratives on social media as well. The result is that now "Everything Everywhere All at Once" joins "A Streetcar Named Desire" and "Network" as just the third film to ever win 3 acting Oscars.

Michelle Yeoh, who grew up in a family of immense power, wealth and privilege in Malaysia, is now a symbol of repressed female heroism in the industry. Yeoh beating Cate Blanchett’s all-timer of a performance is will not be looked upon kindly in the years to come.

The minute Viola Davis and Danielle Deadwyler complained about racism and not being nominated, you just knew that the Lead Actress Oscar was Yeoh’s for the taking. Academy voters uttering to themselves, “Let’s make amends for our sins.”

Brendan Fraser, who was never seen in the aughts as any sort of great actor, wins Best Actor because his career was down in the dumps, he was victimized, and then Darren Aronofsky decided to cast him in a misrerabilist movie. The fat suit didn’t hurt his chances either.

Ke Huy Quan is a failed actor known for his performances as Short Round in ‘Temple of Doom’ and Data in “The Goonies,” both delivered when he was just 14-year-old. It’s another great story that fits well with the narrative that was built for every acting winner this year. I’m glad his career is back on track, but who are we kidding here, he didn't deliver an Oscar-worthy performance.

Jamie Lee Curtis. A 45-year Hollywood veteran whose award last night felt like an honorary Oscar, more than anything else.

Ford, Wilder, Coppola, Eastwood, Spielberg, Scorsese … Scheinert/Kwan. A rich tradition of Oscar winning filmmakers got shaken up last night as the industry tried to have you believe that the hipster duo known as The Daniels gave us the best directing of any movie last year. Yes, even in a year where Todd Field, Martin McDonagh, David Cronenberg, Jordan Peele, Ruben Ostlund, Steven Spielberg and even Damien Chazelle delivered ambitious endeavours.

In fact, as a commenter wrote last night after the show, ZERO Oscars for “TÁR,” “The Banshees of Inisherin,” “Triangle of Sadness,” and “The Fabelmans.” COMBINED.

Suffice to say, EEAAO is more than just a movie now. It’s a meme. A big, giant, inclusive meme that, according to its fans, has lots of heart: The hot dog fingers! Racacooine! That rock with the jiggly eye! The Bagel Short Round!

We’re currently living in this bizarre cultural idiocracy. Mike Judge’s movie seems more relevant than ever before — all we need is a President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho to complete the transition to full-on idiocracy.

What more is there to say? Yes, 2022 was a semi-weak year for American filmmaking, but it doesn’t excuse the winners that we got last night.