Now I Have to Watch ‘Dog’ …

I am now entirely intrigued by “Dog,” the canine comedy that critics were making fun of prior to this past Friday’s release. The poster was even preposterously bland — just Channing Tatum posing with a dog.

It turns out, “Dog” is not a bad movie, or, at least, not the disaster it was purported to be. A 77% on Rotten Tomatoes is, quite frankly, surprising. Wasn’t this supposed to be a contender for next year’s Razzies?

A poster wrote, “An aside, but is Channing Tatum right wing or something? “Dog” felt very red-state oriented. Like a Clint Eastwood movie, but inept and free of nuance. There's some super cringey stuff in there, for sure, trying to score easy points against terms like hate crime, toxic masculinity and wokeness.

There's some wild [stuff] in “Dog”, for sure, and it's not the dogs! None of these are really crucial to the main plot, but I'll spoiler tag anyhow:

Channing takes the dog on a detour to Portland with the express hope of getting laid. There's a super uncomfortable montage of him talking to ladies and buying them drinks, only to get shot down for not being woke enough or for faking wokeness badly.

Channing later finds two tantric sex gurus who want to have sex with him, but they get scared off after he calls his dog a bitch in front of them.

There's a total wtf moment where a sleeping Channing gets prank pulled out of the bed of his truck, falling to the ground and potentially hitting his head... by the Army superior who refuses to clear him for future service due to a traumatic brain injury!

The dog gets away and Channing chases it into the woods, only to get shot by a tranq dart by a "conscientious objector" who lives there with his wife. This cues a truly baffling tonal shift where Channing grabs an axe with the intent to kill his captor.

Channing almost immediately leaves the dog alone in the car to do some practice rounds at a shooting range.

Channing drugs the dog with antihistamines.

Channing and the dog get kicked out of a hotel and arrested on a potential hate crime charge after his dog attacks a Muslim man in a kaftan.

Channing leans into some xenophobic talk with a cop who's insinuating that he purposely had the dog attack a Muslim, hoping to get preferential treatment.

Channing goes to an Army buddy's house for a cookout in the suburbs, and his car is burglarized in broad daylight.

Channing and his Army buddy use their dogs to track down the burglar in a homeless camp. They assault him and take all of their stuff back.

I'm sure I'm forgetting stuff, but you get the idea...

Sign me up. I’ve been looking for a decent comedy to give me a few chuckles. I’ll be buying a late matinee ticket to ”Dog” on Thursday, a few hours before my press screening for “The Batman.”