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Toni Collette Doesn’t Like Intimacy Coordinators: “I Told Them to Leave”

March 18, 2023 Jordan Ruimy

There is no point to in-depth tackle the recent phenomenon of “intimacy coordinators.” Honestly, if an actor or actress feels more comfortable having an IC present then so be it.

However, let’s frankly call them for what they are "sex watchdogs". They review scripts, facilitate group discussions about the sex scenes and meet with the actors individually. It’s all about clarifying the personal boundaries one may have for any given scene.

Toni Collette is clearly not a fan.

I think it’s only been a couple of times where they’ve been brought in, and I have very much trusted and felt at ease with the people I was working with. It just felt like those people who were brought in to make me feel more at ease were actually making me feel more anxious. They weren’t helping, so I asked them to leave.

Good on Toni Collette for speaking out and being frank about it. I understand what she’s saying. What’s helpful to one person sometimes isn’t helpful to the next person. If an actor/actress feels comfortable with their on-screen sex partner, then there’s no need for an intmacy coordinator.

This backlash to sex scenes had IndieWire’s Eric Kohn a little distraught by the overall shift in on-screen sexuality:

In a post-MeToo era, the public discourse around consent tends to yield concerns of liberal censorship. Everyone’s so focused about what they can or can’t ask people to do that they stop asking them to do much at all.

When compared to their European neighbors, maybe Americans are indeed getting squeamish about sex. There’s sexual politeness, and politicking, to the sex-based movies being released these days.

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